I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
