I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone signed my nipple.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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