Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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