Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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