Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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