i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
