Don't you send me to vm
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I will be naked everywhere
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
