atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
