There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
