well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
