You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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