i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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