This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
