I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
