I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
