Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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