You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
false alarm. still invincible.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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