2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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