She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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