i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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