dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
