the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
