he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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