i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
