Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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  (202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i
  Replies (27) Good night (1549) Bad night (593)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.

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  (203): I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date. http://tfl.nu/v8b1
  Replies (7) Good night (4122) Bad night (962)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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  (902): Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight. http://tfl.nu/0w7l
  Replies (25) Good night (4571) Bad night (704)
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (1030) Bad night (9357)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.

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  (617): And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today. http://tfl.nu/vsrl
  Replies (7) Good night (4141) Bad night (888)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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  (724): I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles. http://tfl.nu/o2t1
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (2539)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?

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  (516): Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/2qmc
  Replies (6) Good night (2157) Bad night (1062)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently

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  (204): Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently http://tfl.nu/ky82
  Replies (78) Good night (1112) Bad night (3663)
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  (714): View more from California

  A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.

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  (714): A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now. http://tfl.nu/19el
  Replies (8) Good night (1688) Bad night (937)
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  (310): View more from California

  Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls

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  (310): Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls http://tfl.nu/xuj7
  Replies (12) Good night (1781) Bad night (549)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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  (+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz
  Replies (14) Good night (2448) Bad night (715)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  knight in shining armor

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  (574): he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog (1-574): knight in shining armor http://tfl.nu/bdyw
  Replies (1) Good night (1098) Bad night (569)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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  (301): Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited. http://tfl.nu/b9mp
  Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (389)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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  (432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE

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  (724): YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE http://tfl.nu/f19v
  Replies (1) Good night (26) Bad night (85)

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