Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night