when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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