A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
