and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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