I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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