I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize