he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
