When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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