4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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