I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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