i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
