Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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