Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
