I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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