Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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