Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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