Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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