id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
