So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
