i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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