I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
