I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
