Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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