So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
