we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
