After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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