Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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