Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
