Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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