Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
