yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
