her vagine was all disorganized.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
