You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
