I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
