I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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