it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
