just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
