We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
