It's Friday. Sex?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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